Transparency

Throughout the past couple of months, I've discovered something about myself that was totally different from what I've thought. I remember at an early age and remember the specific event that caused me to be who I am. I had two neighborhood friends that I hung out with separately. One day, all three of us were going to hang out and it was then that I realized that I was a different person when hanging out with them in a one-on-one situation. When they both hang out with me, I could only be one person.

That situation was a moment of enlightening in my life and from that day on, I lived as one person - the same around EVERYONE - and I became who I am now - Zak. Along with that virtue I developed back then, I decided that there was nothing to hide behind and nothing I should hide from anyone, so I've always been 100% open and trusting. Transparently True.

As I said, within the last couple months, I've discovered that I am not super transparent - not on my part, but on other's part of getting to know me. It has been bothering me because my top value is for someone to look at me and know exactly who I am and what kind of person I am. I've been meeting all kinds of new people lately and I've been told that it takes a while to get to know me. That doesn't really sit well considering it is one of my highest values in life.

I think with most of these cases, it's spiritual depth that they see later. But still, it kind of confuses me a bit. I don't think it's a problem, but it just doesn't sit right with me. Alrighty rooni.